Graduation

On this Saturday two years ago I graduated from high school. I am reminded of this because my cousin graduated this morning. Congrats Justin! And the class of 2012! You may not know it yet but this is just the beginning, not the end. I remember my senior year everything was marked by - "this is the last time I will do this..." and that is true. That is the last time things in your life will be the way they are. But, you have so much to move on to. For me, it certainly felt like it was the end of everything I knew, and in a way it was, but that was for the better.

The hardest thing was knowing that the four people I called my best friends would never be the same again. And I think that as I read these Facebook updates, that is what comes to mind. I was so sad at the thought of losing my friends, my best friends. I was afraid of losing them in the capacity that I had always had them. I was convinced that everyone was full of shit for saying that you make the friends you have for the rest of your life in college. I was hell bent on saying that I already found my best friends. I found them in high school and no matter what that would never change.

Well, it did change. And I'm not upset about it. As I get older, yes at the ripe old age of 20 I've decided this, it has become more apparent to me what makes people friends. Shared interests. And obviously some other things like attraction and maybe some biology is involved. Either way, my friends, my very best friends, do not know me anymore. They know who I was and they know a lot about me. But they have not seen me grow and change and really come into who I am. This is scary. The thought of this happening two years ago was enough to make me so incredibly sad. I dwelled on it, posted sad dramatic song lyrics and spent as much time with these people as I could before we all went our separate ways.

So things have changed. We are not nearly as close as we used to be and its hard to come home in the summer and have to become reaquainted again. But its okay. Everything is fine between us, really. Its hard to look back and see how we were in high school and compare it to how we are now. But everything has worked out. I have met some great people at college, and so have they. But that doesn't change what we had at one time, and it doesn't change the bond we have now. Its a beautiful time to look back on and remember. And sometimes, like today, the nostalgia hits me like a ton of bricks. But I don't miss it. I don't miss high school. I miss the people. But thats it. And its taken me about two years to realize this. So like I said already, this is not the end. Its the beginning! And I could not be happier with where I started.