Conversation

Me: Anytime you want to quit it, that'd be great.
Brain: What do you mean?
Me: You're really fucking things up for me. All you do is pound and pound. Do you know how hard it is for me to get anything done when this is what you do?
Brain: That is not fair. I am trying to think. Are you really going to sit there and talk badly about me? And yell at me? Well screw you. How would you like it if I just stopped working all together?
Me: You've already stopped working!
Brain: That is not true. You are still breathing. Technically I am sustaining your life.
Me: Yeah, well that's all you're doing! At least Heart is still working...
Brain: Do not drag her into this. She is at least half of the problem.
Heart: That's really unfair Brain!
Brain: All you have to do is feel and be warm and happy. You do not have to deal with anything.
Heart: That's not true, Brain! Whenever you get moody, it makes my job harder!
Brain: Oh it must be so hard to just thump thump, thump thump. And I tell you to do that. You do not even have to make sure it happens. You just get to depend on me.
Me: Alright you two, try to get along... Or we'll never get anything accomplished.
Brain: Shut up Melissa.
Heart: That's not nice Brain!
Brain: Anyways, I resent your comments about my moodiness. My job is hard. I have to file away all of Melissa's thoughts, which is not easy, especially now that you and her are apparently speaking again. What is that anyways? I thought we had a decent relationship Melissa. My life was easier and you were actually producing thoughts back then.
Me: I know Brain, but I wanted to start feeling again! I was missing out on things.
Heart: Maybe she got sick of how robotic and mean you are! You're so controlling. Sometimes you've got to feel, Brain!
Brain: I do not actually. My life is EASIER when I do not feel. And especially when I do not have to talk to you.
Heart: You are being so mean. It hurts my feelings when you say these things.
Brain: It is it hard for me to process things when I have to try and process the 'feelings' you send up to me. How am I supposed to function properly for Melissa, when my duties are constantly being interrupted?
Heart: I don't know Brain, but you're going to have to learn to deal with it.
Brain: No one even asked me if I wanted this. I am the mastermind; I think this should have been checked with me at some point. Perhaps before it happened.
Heart: I know, and I understand. But that didn't happen and this is how it is. So you'll have to get used to it. It's okay to be upset. I'm here for you, Brain.
Brain: Alright, I guess I can try. But it is going to take some time. These things do not happen over night. It might take me months to get used to you Heart.
Heart: That's okay Brain. It will be something for us to work on! Together! This is exciting! I feel like if you and I can learn to work together then Melissa will be happier, and that's what it's all about, right?
Brain: Let's not get too ambitious.
Me: Thanks guys, I appreciate that your willingness to put in the effort.